In or Out???

Belly buttons completely gross me out.  I am completely disgusted by the look of them and absolutely cringe when my navel is touched.  Already the look of my belly button has changed.  It is widening and starting to stick out more and more.  Here is what the research says:

What causes a protruding navel during pregnancy: Your rapidly expanding uterus pushes your abdomen forward, making your belly button pop out like the timer on a well-cooked turkey.

Really a turkey?

Not only do these books compare your baby to every fruit and vegetable, now they've ruined turkey for me.

Here is what we can look forward to in the months to come:

Eww I'm completely grossed out!

When talking to others about my weird belly button issues, most told me I was a freak and no one else on the planet has an issue with belly buttons but me.  So it made me ask: Why am I so disgusted and freaked out by belly buttons??  For this I blame my father.  He used to chase me around the house with one of these:

 All you Bowden children know what happens next.  If he unscrews your belly button your butt will fall off!!!! It really happens, or so I was told every day. I truly attribute my dislike of belly buttons to the childhood fear of my butt falling off.  So there you have it folks, to sum up a very lengthy rant:

Belly Buttons = Gross

Your butt staying on = Priceless