Rantings

Nicky is now out of newborn diapers and I am starting to use up my stock of diapers.  I went to the closet and opened a bag of Huggies diapers

 All diapers have little designs or characters on them and Huggies has these guys:

 Winnie the Pooh.  I hate Winnie the Pooh and I'm not afraid to tell everyone.  I made sure to let it be known while I was pregnant that if I received items with Pooh on them, I would be taking them back.  Which leads me to the question, Why do I hate Winnie the Pooh so much?  Here is why:

Winnie the Pooh is so annoying.  First of all, his name is Pooh.  What marketing genious forgot to do his homework that week?
Boss: Hey Fred, what name ideas did you come up with?

Fred:  Ummmm....how about Poo?

Boss: Genious!  We'll put an H on the end of it!

How does no one else see a problem with the name Pooh? How have classics like Little House on the Prairie, Huckleberry Finn, and Tom Sawyer make it to banned book lists, but toddlers can run around talking about "the Pooh" with no problem?

  Eeyore.  This guy is constantly depressed, starving for attention and does nothing but complain and wish he wasn't so sad. Who wants to hear this all day long?  Do something about it already.  Why don't you try a needle and tread on your tail that keeps falling off instead of a friggin tack?

 Rabbit.  Rabbit acts like he (or she?) has had 14 cups of coffee and is all jittery.  Rabbit runs around complaining about the crows in his garden all day.  Obviously the scarecrows aren't working, try a shot gun!  Rabbit reminds me of a high maintenance person that constantly has to one up  you with what he is doing all the time.   Pooh has hunny.  Rabbit has 2 jars of hunny.  Roo is eating a carrot.  Rabbit has better carrots, and their organic.  So annoying.

 Tigger.  Tigger is that annoying friend that has ADHD and is constantly in your face.  He is the fraternity boy that is crazy and bouncing off walls, which may be funny at a frat party, but not allllll dayyyy loooong.  He could be the little brother that is putting his finger right up next to your face and saying, "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you."  When Tigger leaves, everyone sighs and says, "Thank goodness he's finally gone." but no one has the balls to tell him to his face.  EWW and he speaks in the 3rd person.  No one likes that!

Now I opened another pack of diapers:

They have these guys:

 Sesame Street is far superior!  Oh, I have reasons:

 The neighborhood!  Sesame Street takes you though the entire neighborhood full of everyone and totally makes you wish you lived there!  There is so much diversity.  Black, white, hispanic, orange, yellow, green, purple.  You've got moms, restaurant owners, mailmen, vampires.....everyone.  And there is no racial profiling. Everyone has jobs all throughout the neighborhood....unlike Winnie the Pooh.  Example: Owl:

 He is totally the smarty know it all with glasses and books.  Go figure! Who would have guessed the owl is the smart one. Back to Sesame Street.  You can learn so much.  Where else can you learn:

Oscar the Grouch teaches us about respect for the homeless.

 Bert and Ernie teach us tolerance for homosexuals.  Come on....they bathe together.

 The count teaches us that vampires don't just bite people on the neck....they love counting!  Where else would we have learned that.

In short, I'm so sad that Huggies has now lost my business no matter how super absorbent their diapers are.  Also, please don't buy me Winnie the Pooh stuff....the guy just bugs me.


(This blog rant was brought to you by the letter A and the number 3.)